It must be a sign!

I have been whispering this to myself all week. Who am I kidding, 12 months worth of whispers and I believe them everytime! Here are few:

I am so tired - That must be a sign of being pregnant, it is written everywhere. Even before that little egg implants, it is affecting you, right?

Cramps, wait no, is that a twinge or a cramp? - I swear, I have never been so aware of cramps in my life. AF never caused much disturbance in my life, but now that I am TTC, I swear every pinch or pull I feel has to be a baby growing.

Boy, what do I smell? - I have a weird sense of smell, some things seem to be overpowering when they aren't for my husband and other times, I can't smell at all. Though in these two weeks waiting to see if I am magically pregnant, anytime a smell bothers me, I swear it is morning sickness starting.

That milk just made my throat burn - Must be a sign right? Why would milk hurt my throat, just out of the blue. Is it reflux, is it my body changing overnight? Must be a sign of something!

All of these are a sign that I am neurotic during these two weeks waiting. Maybe if I actually believed the 5% chance we have to conceive naturally was real, then I wouldn't worry so much about every sign. The odds are stacked against us and I am alright with that. I like a challenge, small, medium, large, I like them all. So bring it 5%, I challenge you to break me down!

The drinking/non-drinking game

In the past during the TWW, I didn't think much about having a glass of wine if the mood struck me (except during IVF). Because of this, I never had those stares signaling they knew what was up. This time is different. I wanted to abstain during the TWW, both for the best chance of this month being THE month, and to help reduce the extra calories (yes I know, selfish but we do have a cruise coming up). Here has been the reactions from friends:

Wife of the Year Award: After ordering a water at a bar known for their beers, our friend smiles at me as if he knows something. It doesn't help that just two weeks before we met for dinner and I ordered just a water. He didn't see the beer I drank at the bar before that. My response: to smile back and say "it's my husbands turn to have a few tonight". Seemed like a wife of the year award to me!!

Food Won: While visiting friends out of state (and who always enjoy a few drinks with) I proclaimed I ate myself silly at dinner and could not fit anything else, even in the liquid form, in my stomach. Luckily my stepdaughter agreed with me so she wasn't suspicious this time but I did have to hear from my loving friends "what are you 80?" I wanted to respond " well, no I'm not, just trying to give my body the best chance to impregnate itself after 12 months of trying". Though, this response would put quite an awkward cloud over the evening.

Only about 10 more days to go. Avoiding social situations may not be possible so time for more "excuses". Any ideas?

And 2WW Begins...

Maybe I should have called this blog the Fertility Roller Coaster. The up's and down's you go through just in the month is enough to make it seem like a roller coaster.

Mother nature does a crazy thing, she makes you wait. I have never been good at waiting, I like to plan, that is my Type A personality coming out. I won't find out until Dec. 19 or around that time comes, if any of this effort this month paid off. So what is a girl to do? Blog! =)

Smiley face

Smiley face showed up this morning, tested again this afternoon and it was gone. Both had the same concentration so I guess they are right that you must test twice a day to catch the surge. Happy to see the smiley face, fingers crossed!